Family Ties
by Danaides
Summary: Sara attempts to reconnect with her mother with help from a surprising source... GSR and WIP, please R&R!
1. The Letter

**DISCLAIMERS: The characters and any other references to CSI episodes are not mine.**

**Spoilers: Season 5 up to Committed. Small refs to earlier Season's also possible.**

**A/N:** This is a post-ep for Committed and G/S, of course. For those of you who read my last story, I know that was also about Sara's family, but I wrote that before NHI, ND and Committed so much of it was just my own imagination hard at work. I wanted to do another story incorporating the new back story info and then elaborate. This is a non-case related G/S story and it might just be too complicated to incorporate everyone on Swing shift. I may change my mind later, but for now that is what I am thinking. I am also hoping for Spork free story, but there are no guarantees – you have been warned! I started this weeks ago and although I have a general idea of where it is headed I may take awhile to update so I apologize in advance. Thanks for reading and please review, all constructive critiques welcome!

The sky was a vibrant synthesis of orange and pink with crimson streaks dramatically accompanying the setting sun in the warm Nevada desert. It reminded Sara of a sherbet she used to enjoy as a little girl during the hot California summers. She had recently found herself desperately wanting to remember childhood memories that didn't make her heart seize up from fear and grief. Even little things helped: Her mother's rare smile. Her favorite tricycle. _Ice-cream_.  
Sara sighed deeply and slid off the hood of her compact, grasping a letter in her right hand. The sky was darkening and she shivered slightly at the sudden drop in temperature. Slipping on her jacket she settled into the driver's seat. She started the engine and slowly pulled onto the highway, making an illegal U-turn to head her in the right direction. Sara had one stop to make before she went to work.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Grissom sat his small kitchen table and slowly finished his dinner as his thoughts wondered to familiar territory_. Sara_. It had been nearly a month since Adam Trent had held her hostage in the nurse's station of Desert State Mental Hospital. Grissom had watched Sara closely in the days and weeks that had followed the incident, wary of her apparently immediate recovery. Sara didn't seem to mind his attention and Grissom was glad that her confidence in him seemed to be a permanent shift in their precarious relationship. He was so grateful to rebuild their friendship and hoped that one day she would be willing to give him another chance for more. His thoughts of Sara took him places he frequented more often than he cared to admit. He stopped himself just short of needing another shower. Grissom finished dressing and started packing up case files in his briefcase. He had planned to get into work early to finish some paperwork from the previous shift, but a knock on the door signaled a probable change in his plans. He leaned into the peephole and then quickly retracted in shock. _What is she doing here_? Grissom made a deliberate effort to suppress his pleasure at seeing her and successfully appeared impassive when he opened the door. Sara offered a shy smile, which he returned in spite of himself.

"Sara?"

"Hi. I'm sorry to just drop by like this; I needed to talk to you. Is this a bad time?" Sara asked quickly, shifting nervously on her feet.

"No – no, of course not." Grissom replied with pseudo confidence as he stepped aside with a silent gesture inviting Sara to enter.

Sara complied and cautiously crossed the threshold into the dimly lit living room. It occurred to her that she had only been to his townhouse once and that he had actually been to her apartment a few times recently. Sara frowned slightly as she remembered two distinctly disturbing occasions that inspired his presence. _Maybe the next time he visits, I'll have my shit together and we can just order Chinese food and then for dessert we -_

Grissom cleared his throat and Sara turned around. A small blush crept up her cheeks as she returned to the present and she scolded herself internally for letting her dreams invade her thoughts unchecked.

"Are you ok?" Grissom asked, puzzled at the flush on Sara's face.

"Yeah, yes. I just have something to talk to you about and it's um…difficult for me." Sara stumbled for words and quickly withdrew a crumpled paper from her pocket. "This is a letter from my mother. I don't really have anyone else to confide in about this so I hope you don't mind."

Grissom was relieved that Sara hadn't come to discuss anything personal that had to do with him. He shook his head emphatically in response and sat on the couch. Sara relaxed a little and followed his lead. She parked herself in the leather chair opposite the couch and leaned forward, clutching the pale blue letter in her hands.

"After the case we had at Desert State I've been dealing with a lot of memories and, um, emotions. Like I mentioned before, my mother was evaluated at a mental facility but she was eventually sent to prison at Northern California Women's Facility. Although the domestic abuse was obvious to anyone with eyes, it wasn't enough to provide a defense for pre-meditated murder. They said it wasn't self defense because she stabbed my father in his sleep."

Sara cleared her throat and quickly blinked back tears before continuing. Grissom leaned forward but suppressed the urge to reach out before Sara was ready.

"So my mother took a plea – 2nd degree murder – 20 to life with the possibility of parole. I visited her once while I was in foster care, but it upset her so much to see me that she asked my foster mother not to bring me back. I was hurt and angry with her for so long, but now, I don't know, I guess I just needed to find out what happened to her. Two weeks ago I decided to write to her. It turns out that she was paroled three weeks ago. The prison forwarded my letter to her new address in Carmel. I just got her letter this morning. I won't read you the whole thing but basically she wants me to visit her. She's staying with a friend who says that I'm welcome anytime. She claims to have a lot to tell me."

Sara paused and placed the letter back in her pocket. She leaned back into the chair and sighed deeply.

"Are you ready for that?" Grissom inquired gently.

"Honestly, I have no idea. It sounds stupid right, I mean I wrote to her first." Sara replied sadly.

"Maybe you needed to make a connection but you aren't really sure what it is you are looking for." Grissom offered.

"Yeah, maybe." Sara sat up and caught Grissom's eye. He smiled briefly before standing and disappearing into the kitchen. He returned a few moments later with a glass of water and Sara mumbled a quiet thanks, graciously accepting the cold drink.

"Well, I want to think about this a little more but if I need to take some time off can I let you know at the end of shift tonight?"

"Certainly. You have more than enough vacation on the books and I'd be willing to let you go as soon as tomorrow if you need to."

"I don't think Greg and Sofia would appreciate that."

"Then it's a good thing I'm the boss."

TBC?

**A/N 2: I really am not sure if I should continue this so please let me know what you think!**


	2. Memories

**DISCLAIMERS: The characters and any other references to CSI episodes are not mine.**

**Spoilers: Season 5 up to Committed. Small refs to earlier Season's also possible**.

**A/N: **Thank you so much to everyone who read Ch 1 and reviewed! I appreciate the support to continue this story. I hope to update once a week but real life may make that impossible. Again, thanks for reading - all constructive critiques are welcome!

Sara waved goodbye with as much energy as she could muster as Greg passed the open locker room door. They had been working a double homicide all night and she was exhausted. Her mother's letter had already been weighing heavy on her mind and the case took what little mental and physical energy she had remaining and then some. The thought of attempting a conversation with Grissom at this point seemed too daunting, but Sara had made a decision and wanted to let him know.

Sara rapped lightly on the doorframe while watching Grissom carefully feed his pet tarantula. He replaced the terrarium lid as Sara avoided looking directly at the creature while she entered the office.

"You got a minute?" Sara asked wearily.

Grissom nodded and suppressed a chuckle. He could always sense her feelings about his favorite pet although she had never vocalized her aversion for the large arachnids.

"You had a rough night." Grissom replied, sitting behind his desk.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm so tired I feel like I could sleep a week. But being a glutton for punishment I've decided to go visit my long lost mother instead."

Grissom offered a sad smile at Sara's attempt to make light of a difficult situation. He knew it had to be gnawing away at her all night but she hadn't let it affect her work and he admired her for that.

"You're not scheduled to work tomorrow so it seems as good a time as any." Grissom pointed out.

Sara nodded and rose slowly from the chair. " I shouldn't be more than a few days, maybe a week if I decide to drive up San Francisco and visit some friends while I'm in California."

"That sounds good. You should try and relax a little; take advantage of the time off." Grissom was sure that this trip would be anything but relaxing for her but he felt he had to say something positive.

"Yeah. Listen Gris, thanks for listening to me earlier. I really appreciate having you - " Sara paused before her habit to over talk embarrassed both of them. " I mean, I really appreciate it."

"Anytime." Grissom was disappointed Sara hadn't finished her original thought, but he liked to believe what she had said was true. _Does she appreciate having me?_

Sara was nearly out the door before Grissom's voice caught her attention once more.

"Sara - I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Me too." Sara replied quietly before turning the corner and disappearing down the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Grissom sighed as he shut the door of his townhouse and dropped his briefcase full of files on the floor. It had been a long night, longer than usual, because he simply couldn't concentrate. Too exhausted to eat, Grissom headed for his bedroom and stripped down to his boxers. Climbing into bed, his thoughts raced once again and he tossed and turned under his grey flannel sheets. He was worried about Sara. Not that that was unusual. Too often, she was all he thought about. But her newest revelation to him somehow brought up painful memories for him. He could only imagine what it would be like for her to face a mother that essentially rejected her. It was a complicated situation, but Sara's mother had made a conscious decision not to see her daughter anymore, and that sort of rejection at such an impressionable age was no doubt devastating. Losing her father that way was bad enough, despite what he had done to them. Her mother then essentially abandoned her and the thought of abandonment hit much too close to home for Grissom. As memories of the last few moments he spent with father flooded back, Grissom's body finally won the fight. Whether in self-defense or simply because of fatigue, Grissom's mind shut down and he welcomed the darkness of slumber.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sara sped south along Highway 1 with the top down on her rented VW convertible. The air was warm and fresh and she realized how much she missed her home state's weather. As she passed Monterey Bay she had memories of a trip to the famous aquarium. She tried to remember how old she was when her mother took her there and was somewhat surprised she had forgotten it until now. She didn't remember her father being there although he did occasionally go with them on their outings. She definitely remembered preferring it when he didn't. It was a time she and her mother could get away without him and it seemed to Sara that her mother was happiest then. _I must have been about 6 or 7. That was a good day._

Sara followed the freeway signs to Carmel-by-the-Sea. Checking her watch, she realized that she was earlier than expected so she decided to make a brief detour. Walking on the beach had always been therapeutic for her in the past and she hoped that would still be the case. As she reached the end of the beach access road she spotted a small trail that led directly to the beach. After a short walk she found a quiet spot on the beach with a perfect view of the pelicans circling and diving for fish in the surf. The sound of the ocean calmed her nerves and she sat in the sand for a long time just listening to the crashing of the waves.

About an hour passed before Sara felt she was ready to finally face the women that had killed her father. The Bug roared to life while Sara fished through her bag for the map to her mother's new address. As she drove along the coastal road her thoughts turned to Grissom and she surprised herself. _I actually wish he were here right now. Despite everything still unsaid between us, I could use his strength right now. _

The numbers on the large white mailbox confirmed that she had found the right house and she drove through an open large wooden gate. She slowly advanced up a deceptively long winding driveway. The gravel crunched under the tires while she admired the tall Redwoods that shaded the front lawn. When she finally caught sight of the house, she gasped. It was enormous. A pale mustard-colored stucco with a design reminiscent of California's Spanish Missions loomed in front her. It had well-manicured landscaping with towering dogwood trees and rosebushes in full bloom. Sara couldn't believe her mother had a friend that would live in such a place. _Most felons don't do so well 3 weeks out of prison._ Sara parked close to what appeared to be a detached garage. She grabbed her suitcase from the trunk and walked leisurely to a large oak door. With a deep breath, she rang the bell and set her suitcase on the step. The door opened with a creak and for the first time in 20 years, Sara was face-to-face with Laura Sidle.

TBC


End file.
